"You kept me going round and round"

I am an INF/TJ. I took the test for one last time, deliberating very long and carefully over the questions and my answers. I have equal amount of F and T.

I should ask the good people that created the MBTI test, how many times do you reckon you need to take to be sure of who you are? Since it is all scientific based, why does it differs? The results of probabilities more than accurate statistics?

Still, it makes absolute sense now. As I was reading and re-reading Keirsey's book, I found myself couldn't quite agree to the specific type that I was suppose to be in. Personality should be contextual, because facing our friends, we are on a different character and facing our parents or even our job, we are behaving differently. Then again, some will argue that the type of personality(ies) that we have are the base to how we approach different people and situations.

I find that I tend to be too warped up in my own world most of the time. Sometimes, I feel that I have lost that connection with the real world. Half the time, I tend to block myself out because the real happening world are not up to my expectation or even that I am not up to the expectation. I honestly believes that for the half quarter of the century, I have just been floating along.

Life had not been easy with ups and downs, but somehow I just floated through it. Somehow.

Still, for most of the time, I reckon that when meeting people and making friends or even towards my parents, I always have an ideal of how people should behave in my world. For most of the time, I became quite disappointed when they do not turned out to be how I expected them to be. It has not stop me from idealising though.

Now, I understand that my personality is what causes me to be like this half the time. An idealist with too much ideals and not enough practicalities. (See, I told you I just float :D)

Still, it has been said that throughout periods of our lives, we will develop different parts of our personalities and certain people might even developed a more dominant opposite side. I reckon for some times now, my "T" (analytical) is developing and in some parts, overwhelming my "F" (feeling) side.

The amazing thing is, I am really and INFJ. lol. INFJ only made up of 1% of of the world, out of the other 16 types of Myer-Briggs personalities. I reckon that is why I found it so hard to be able to find somebody that I am able to really really connect to?

Everytime you reckon that you did find somebody, they most of the time turns out to be just fool's gold. But, statistics had also shown that INFJ(s) has the highest number of dissatisfaction in regarding towards relationship in their lives. So, I AM DOOMED!

Our wants and desires really does differs so much from what reality can offers. :/

In my world, I am happy and content. In the real world, I ask, what is happiness? I am happy from many simple things in life. But then again, sometimes I became really down and really doubt myself. You reckon if you are truly happy you will be feeling like that?

Lord, I ask for more faith in you and in myself.

Being surrounded by people all the time is really tiring. I like my environment to be really quiet and peaceful because inside my head, its an ongoing chaos all the time. I talk to myself inside my head all the time, either that or I have alot of commentaries going on inside there. But its funny how I like to go about doing things with my headphones blaring out music real loud. How you reckon to be peace and quiet when the music is so loud in your ears?

Simple, the music locked me out of other noises. Being enveloped by this repeating sound and then it will slowly diminishes and will be left with just me and me. Nothing else. How lovely.

I also find that i study better and are more productive and creative at night. Its the surrounding, that quietness. If only daytime can produce that kind of peace nightfall can produce.

I reckon, I volunteer for isolation if somebody offers to pay me to do it. :D

People chases you and you chases after other people. Why are we always after something that we cannot have?

I been in a tizz for the past few weeks. Really tizzy as I reckon that I will never understand any kind of men and boys. Never good dealing with them and try trying to understand one, Lol, I know I am not the only one out there trying to understand this alien species. Mr. Men, what are you? (You can see me flogging a white flag) I blank out and retreat back to my shell. Retreat... retreat... retreat...

It is ok to march to a different beat.

I misses the simple times...


Also, people, what kind of food taste nice? I been asked that one too many times. Remember, when you cook with sincerity. It has to come from your heart, your sincerity in wanting the person receiving it to enjoy and be happy with it. One thing about cooking for me, seeing people smiles and be happy and really enjoy what I serve them, that keeps me cooking.

Today, I botched up the first batch of cupcakes. Made a second recipe. They turns out really lovely. Pictures, I reckon I'll put them up in facebook. But, its good to share the recipe.

Vanilla Cupcakes
(yield approximately 28 tiny cupcakes, 8 large cupcakes)

150g butter, softened.
150g castor sugar
175g flour
1/2 tsp bicarbonate soda
1/3 tsp baking powder
3 whole eggs (approx 55g each)
1 tsp vanilla essence
125 ml milk.

Whip butter and sugar til creamy, add in egg, 1 at a time, and beat til well combined.
Add in dry ingredients part by part and again mix til well combined.
Lastly, add in milk and vanilla essence and mix well to combine.

Pipe into cupcake cups and bake in 180C oven for 18-25 minutes or until risen and firm to touch. Alternately, you can insert a skewer into them, if it comes out clean, it is done.

Vanilla Frosting
115g butter (softened)
1-1/2 cup (170g) icing/confectioner's sugar
1 tsp vanilla essence
2 tbsp milk

Beat butter until creamy and sift in icing sugar.
Beat to combine well. Add vanilla essence and milk. Beat to combine.
Scoop into a piping bag fitted with a star nozzle and decorate your cupcakes.
You can also garnish it as you like.

Note: As the cupcake recipe is a very basic cupcake recipe, it goes along well with plenty of different types of frosting flavours. I recommend also to drizzle the cupcakes in a flavoured syrup to make them moist AND yummy then top with frosting of choice. :D

Music reflects the state of mind. 6pm and it is dark and cold! How hateful...

Noah and the Whale - 2 Atoms in A Molecule (Mp3)
*If love is a game/how come I've never won

I love the quirky lyrics and the arrangement of this song. Not to mention the song title appeals to me immensely! :D

Labels: indie, mp3, recipe